EVA on Jerry Springer
by Jon Cook
Summary: What happens when the kids in Eva work out their diffs on Springer 10 years later?


Disclaimer: I do not own Jerry Springer. I do not own Eva. Don't bother to sue me, you won't get anything.  
  
  
This just came to me as I was watching Jerry Springer.  
  
  
  
  
  
Jerry: Welcome to the show. Today, our topic is 'There's something I have to tell you and the wedding is off!' Ladies and gentlemen, let's bring out our first guests. Asuka and Toji.  
  
(Asuka and Toji come out and sit down)  
  
Asuka: Thanks for having us, Jerry.  
  
Toji: Yeah, thanks.  
  
Jerry: Now what exactly are you here to do?  
  
A: I'm here to tell Shinji, my fiancee of three months, that I have been cheating on him for the past six months.  
  
Audience: (cheers)  
  
J: How long have you been together?  
  
A: Three years.  
  
J: And, why are you here, Toji?  
  
T: I'm here to tell my fiancee, Hikari, that I've been cheating on her for about six months.  
  
J: How long have you been engaged?  
  
T: For about four months, now Jerry.  
  
J: How long have you and Hikari been together, Toji?  
  
T: For about ten years.  
  
Audience: OHHHHHHH!  
  
J: And you both want to come clean uh, about this?  
  
A: I want to tell him that he can have the ring back.  
  
J: And, you feel the same way, Toji?  
  
T: Absolutely.  
  
J: Well, lets bring them out, Shinji and Hikari.  
  
(Shinji comes out and sits next to Asuka, Hikari next to Toji, in the order of Shinji, Asuka, Toji, and Hikari)  
  
Shinji: Asuka, Toji, what are you doing here?  
  
Hikari: Yeah, Toji, what are we doing here?  
  
J: Shinji, Asuka has something she'd like to say to you.  
  
A: Shinji, I'm seeing someone else.  
  
S:(stunned) F..For how long?  
  
A: Six months.  
  
Audience: OHHHHHH!  
  
H: Asuka, how could you do something like this to Shinji?!? He's one of the sweetest, nicest guys I've ever known, except for Toji.  
  
J: Hikari, Toji has something he'd like to say to you.  
  
T: Hikari, for the past six months, I've been seeing someone else. (Hikari breaks down crying Shinji just sits there, unable to speak)  
  
A:(removing engagement ring) Shinji, here's the ring. I've found someone better. (Now Shinji starts crying)  
  
H: WHO HAVE YOU BEEN SEEING!?!  
  
(Toji and Asuka rush towards each other and start to make out on stage)  
  
H:(sobbing) Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.  
  
(Shinji rushes Toji and fight is cut from TV. Now seating is Asuka in Toji's lap on the other side of the stage, Shinji, and Hikari)  
  
J: Now, Shinji how do you feel about this?  
  
S: Well, I, feel used.  
  
J: Hikari, how do you feel?  
  
H: (sobs)  
  
A: Jerry, I have something else I'd like to say.  
  
J: And that is?  
  
A: I haven't just been seeing Toji, Shinji.  
  
Audience: (chanting) WHORE, WHORE, WHORE!  
  
S: (angry) Who else have you been (beep)ing? Kensuke?  
  
A: (proudly)Yeah. (Kensuke comes out on stage and kisses Asuka deeply)  
  
Audience:(chanting) THREESOME, THREESOME, THREESOME!  
  
T: Hikari, I want my ring back so I can propose to Asuka.  
  
Audience: OHHHHHHHHH!  
  
(Hikari rips ring off finger and throws ring at Toji.)  
  
J: Now, is there anything aly of you would like to say to each other?  
  
S: Actually, Jerry, there is. Asuka, Toji, for the past seven months Hikari and I have been seeing each other. (Toji rushes Shinji and punches him in the face. Fight is cut from TV.)  
  
J: It's time to go to a commercial break, so see you in a bit.  
  
CM BREAK  
END CM BREAK  
  
J: Welcome back, and Asuka has just revealed that for several months, she has been cheating on Shinji with his two best friends and Shinji has been cheating on Asuka with his best friend's fiancee.  
  
S: They aren't my friends anymore, Jerry.  
  
Audience: OHHHHHHH!  
  
S: There's something else I want to say.  
  
J: What's that, Shinji?  
  
S: (turns to Hikari) Hikari, I love you. Will you marry me? (Hikari kisses him, crowd erupts into cheers)  
  
J: Now, I think our audience has a few questions to ask you. (moves over to white trash-looking guy)  
  
WTLG: I gotta questin' fer tha threesome guy that don't wear glasses. Uh, why did you cheat on her?  
  
T: She just wouldn't put out in bed.  
  
Audience: BOOOOOOOO!  
  
T: (beep) you all. Just (beep) you all. ( black woman stands up)  
  
BW: Yeah, Jerry, I gotta Question for the skinny guy the brown hair, why you cheat on the redhead?  
  
S: Too violent in bed and I just didn't like it.  
  
Audience: (chanting) S&M! S&M! S&M!  
  
A: You (beep) right!  
  
J: It seems we ran out of time, so here's my final thought. When things like this happen, it's best to get them out into the open when it's cheaper to cancel the caterer, instead of hire a lawyer. Untill next time, take care of yourselves, and each other. 


End file.
